Weight Part 3

I think it is really important for me to explore some information, thoughts and opinions about weight. I really like Iweigh– Jameela Jamil, this is an amazing community about learning and self love, knowledge and learning to be better- not physically but within ourselves. The body positivity ideology kicked off in the 1960’s, focused around the end of fat shaming and discrimination that comes with it, but it didn’t become a full fledged movement until 2012. Body positivity is meant to be about loving a body, regardless of its shape or size, whether it is deemed ‘acceptable’ by media outlets or not. This movement highlighted how much the industry profits off telling women (and men) that they are not good enough if they don’t have x, y or z. It is a multimillion dollar/pound industry. With body positivity, whilst the concept in itself is great, not everyone has the capacity to love their bodies for whatever reason, or the desire too.

Stephanie Yeboah was part of that movement, she is an inspirational woman and quite amazing! She was quoted in an artical written by the Guardian, where she explained that she felt the movement had been co-opted: “It has become a buzzword, it has alienated the very people who created it. Now, in order to be body positive, you have to be acceptably fat – size 16 and under, or white or very pretty. It’s not a movement that I feel represents me any more.” Within the same article, Rebekah Taussig, made this valuable comment: “The body positive movement doesn’t put people with disabilities and other marginalised bodies into the foreground. Body neutrality, I think, has the power to be really useful in particular to people with disabilities, especially those with chronic pain or people with diagnoses that are progressive. Those people are pretty frustrated with the demand to love their bodies when they feel betrayed by them. Being neutral could feel like a relief.” The Female Lead wrote an article about body neutrality and I felt this sentence summed it up nicely: ‘Our bodies keep us alive and we are destroying them to look a specific way’.

Stephanie Yeboah looks at one of the biggest criticisms when it comes to the movement of ‘fat acceptance’ which she moves towards, which is peoples concern around the health of a fat person. She feels this ‘concern’ is just a tool for fat phobia and is not a genuine concern at all. She speaks about the fact that the one and only time she has been admitted to hospital for being fat, it is because she was beaten up because she was fat. How shocking and awful is that? Why does anyone see a fat person and feel such hatred? I truely could have cried when I read that, I am not a bad person because I carry extra adipose tissue, I am not a threat to anyone. Our physcial beings are just a house for our insides, for our hearts and brains to be protected, the outside doesn’t say anything about the inside. I have perfect blood results, I am healthy internally, my body is incredible, I am sure there are plenty of thin people who are worse internally than I am. Stephanie Yeboah rounds off the comments about fat acceptance by clarifying: “We’re not promoting obesity, or telling people to be fat, we’re just saying, if you’re fat you don’t have to hate yourself.”

If we look at the This Girl Can campaign, it is amazing in its simplicity and inclusivity. This campaign was born due to many women not wanting to be active or get active, due to a fear of judgement. The campaign points out that the judgements can be from many different areas in life, fear of judgement over size, looks, taking time out for self, not being with children or family and a general feeling of not being good enough. I think this campaign and its use of real women, and by that I mean women of every shape, size, colour, religeon and fitness level, is inspiring. It doesn’t judge anyone, thin or fat, fit to unfit, althete to complete beginner. It is a celebration of how wonderful our bodies are and how enjoyable being active can be if we find our own thing.

So, even though I am looking at reducing my body size, it is not because I despise fat people, I follow many amazing fat women on instagram and do not judge them. If anything I am envious that they can feel so comfortable in their own skin, what a wonderful way to feel. My personal journey is to seek that, I asked the Dietician I see why I can’t be a happy, comfortable fat person. She answered, all the things that make you uncomfortable are daily experiences and that is why. That is valid and it is my personal experience, but I do not judge plus sized people, I envy them as I might envy slim people. I don’t want the steering wheel to dig into my tummy when I drive, which will happen soon if I carry on growing, plus I feel my eating is out of control. Rather than a thing I do for pure pleasure, it is a coping mechanism.

I think that this piece is valuable at this time as there are lots of derogatory and judgemental comments about weight gain during the pandemic, and of course because Christmas is coming, wouldn’t it be nice to just enjoy ourselves without judgement and the anxieties that this can bring?

Uber Frugal Month Homework, Step 2-7

Step 2- So, I looked through my personal spends in November and then our joint account spends. It got a bit confusing as we often pay ourselves back from the joint account, but it isn’t always clear what we have spent it on. Such as, we pay for dog appointments and medication, then the house (joint) account pays us back. We both put a lot of our earnings into the house account, so this is why it pays for things like this. We also use it, if we decide to buy house based things, it is where the holiday money sits until it is used etc. So I am not 100% sure what I have been paid back for, as I will often pay for a few things before taking back and the online account isn’t as detailed as I would like! Last month personal spends has included a trip out with my friends for afternoon tea for a friends birthday, where I did go shopping as well as Christmas Presents, which I don’t always have to buy. I have spent over £200 on clothes, I am expecting about £75 back in returned items. Still a lot of money, I did need a waterproof coat- I don’t have one that fits and haven’t for many years, choosing to just get wet! But the other items were desire items!

Step 3-

Fixed Mandatory Expenses- This is non moveable costs

  • Mortgage- £717 (£50 overpayment, rising to £250 overpayment Jan 2020)
  • Gas- £106 every 2-3 weeks in the Winter, less in the Summer
  • Council Tax- £159 (think its for 10/11months)
  • Energy- £25.51
  • Water- £35.50
  • Life Insurance- £60 (I am sure I can get this cheaper if I actually looked, we got it through the mortgage broker)
  • House insurance- £paid in full, approx £114 a year
  • Credit Card- £110 minimum payment (often pay some more)
  • Car Insurance- £26.64

Discretionary Spending-

  • NSPCC and Dogs Trust- £13.67 (I want these to continue)
  • Vodafone- £14.39 (I own my phone outright)
  • Account fee- £5 (we used to earn more back than this, but at the moment we are barely earning to cover it)
  • Zoo- £13.75 (we can discuss if we wish to keep the membership going or not)
  • RCN- £23.70 (This is my insurance for nursing as well as a magazine- could stop the magazine though)
  • TV licence- £154.50 a year
  • Groceries- £90 per week :0 (Between £75-90 on average)
  • Fuel- £80 a month-ish
  • Takeaways- £15 a week on average
  • Hair for me- £10 haircuts once every 4-6months, hair dye £5.50 every 3 weeks
  • Current monthly saver- £250, 5% account, ends soon
  • Clothes and miscellaneous c- unsure what these costs are!
  • The dogs are both on medication-Meloxaid, Desmopressin (we buy from a human pharmacy) and supplements- youmove cheap version, I am unsure of costs as all paid seperately and adhoc! Recently needed x-rays for younger dog so big cost. No insurance as both dogs are rescue with issues so would either be uninsurable, or a ridiculous cost. We have always paid for everything they need outright
  • Dog food- they are now raw fed and we are still trying to get the feeds correct so unsure of costs
  • We eat out but not that often- we went away this month to Glasgow, so spent a lot more there than usual when at home
  • I will sometimes buy lunches for work, these can cost around £5 and I work three days a week
  • I rarely go to McDonalds , Costa or other but can find some months my use increases- last month for example
  • Hubby pays for Amazon Prime and Netflix
  • Internet- something like £18- hubby pays for this from his account
  • MOT and Service- £170ish depending where we go!
  • Adhoc Chicken costs, they don’t need a lot and we buy food as needed,we paid the big costs outright- their home!

Step 4-

What can we get rid of? Well, its tough. I guess that is the point. The Zoo could be dropped, I will work out if we have made use of the membership or not this year and base it on that. Will require a discussion with Hubby, who is working away the next few nights. We do need to work out the costs for the dogs, medications, food, appointments three monthly for reviews etc. Our dogs are our children, they need medication as they both have ongoing conditions that without medication would be life affecting. We get Red’s Desmopressin from the Human Pharmacy, we have to pay for his prescription then pay for the meds, this is still cheaper than it used to be getting them all from the vets! We don’t eat out often, but have a weekly takeaway, we both dislike cooking so it is nice to know that once a week we get something lovely to eat with no effort! Perhaps this can be something to reduce in the future, please?! I am unsure if we can stop the TV Licence, I mean, I could easily not watch the BBC channels, but am unsure how it all works these days! That could be a nice saving!

We could look at the Life Insurance, I am fat, therefore I make it more expensive. But I think that our mortgage broker went for the best deal for her, rather than us, thats fine, she is great with mortgages and I am happy to help her get extra commission, but really we should be investigating this ourselves now! I could look at my mobile phone plan and see if I can get it cheaper. Internet is a new deal and I am sure it was the best we could get- our connection is shocking! I feel haircut costs and hair dye costs are perfectly acceptable, I am 32 with many greys that I am not ready to embrace yet! I will look at moving our joint account, we used to earn good interest when we had more cash in there, but now its in a 5%saver so not helping the current account. Fuel is what it is, I don’t use my car ridiculous amounts, we have a very efficient joint car, and Hubby has his truck. I have no issues with his truck! Could do with being more prepared with work lunches and helping myself as I do 12hour shifts, this would benefit two fold. Clothes are a non budgeted buy whenever thing, I really need to address this with need not desire! We are not ready to stop netflix or amazon yet- sorry UFM!!

Step 5- Substitution

I will be honest, can’t really think of substitutions at this time. I mean, I buy Options hot choc which I love and is cost effective. I love wine and other alcoholic beverages- perhaps I should look into trying to brew my own stuff? I could definately make a version of creme de cassis with blackberries from the garden, missed that this year though. I have started to try and grow veg, my rocket is still doing well and it is almost Winter, but I struggle to grow other things! Another must try! We have chickens, they are ex batteries so laying is hit and miss, that is fine, we just wanted to save them so they didn’t go to slaughter! Will ask my stepmum to help me with foraging I think. I am not conviced about barter and trade at this time!

Step 6-

Reduction of Discetionary Spending- accidently covered this earlier! Except grocery shopping is something we really need to work on! We are upping the mortgage cost, this is because we are on a great deal and want to pay it down more, ultimately helping us!

Step 7- Insourcing

I mean, we don’t outsource often. We paid professionals to do our driveway, much more time effective and a fantastic job comparative to what we can do. Same with the car, we will use a mechanic and ask around for quotes to get a good deal. We paid a gas man to check the boiler when it was playing up. I want to pay a cleaner but Hubby says no! Recently we made shelves ourselves, this was a great example of insourcing. We need to paint and redecorate some rooms, I would like to outsource these jobs but will probs end up doing them with Hubby. Some things are worth trying yourself, but others we need to think about the skill level required and the time constraints we both face.

I am exhausted, this has made my brain hurt to be honest! Will continue on the next steps after my next shift at work!haha.

Countdown to Christmas

We like to try and make Christmas magical by doing different things on the countdown, this can be really difficult with our clashing shifts and work hours. Some of these things will be free, some are not at all free, some things are a one off for this year, some things we do every year, some are indoors and some are outdoors! We put the tree and decorations up before we went away, to make sure the house felt Christmassy when we came back!

December 1st-

We went to Glasgow and headed to the Christmas Markets! A nice Christmassy way to welcome December! We were travelling here specifically for NBC live with an Orchestra, we have never travelled this far for Christmas Markets before! Ended up being cheap as we bought nothing!

December 2nd-

We had booked to see Nightmare Before Christmas, live with an Orchestra and original cast at the Hydro for its 25th anniversary. Super Christmassy, very wonderful and I dont think it is something we will see happening again! I bought middle range seats!

December 3rd-

We watched a program about the making of Home Alone on Netflix, can just pass as Christmassy but had driven back from Glasgow, been shopping for food and also bought some new decorations from the Range! Technically Christmassy to buy decorations?!

December 4th-

Hubby had been working some ridiculous hours today, so the dogs and I watched Christmas films on Netflix! Some of the homemade ones are so good, really give you the Christmas feels!

December 5th-

We watched The Holiday, technically a Christmas film, very good film!

December 6th-

Another Christmas film tonight, with the dark nights and wet weather, this is a good way to welcome Christmas! We havent decided which one yet

December 7th-

We are going for a Christmas meal with friends at their house, this should be a nice cheap evening, with board games and festive things!

We haven’t planned out any other specifics yet, but the other things that we like to do are:

  • Get Christmas Hot Chocolates- home made or shop bought, maybe both
  • Go out for a Christmas meal
  • Wrap presents
  • Watch many of the Christmas films we love, Polar Express is saved for Christmas Eve and Elf is always on Christmas day! Other films: Christmas Chronicles, Home Alone 1&2, Santa Claus 1&2, Get Santa, Jingle all the way, Die hard (!?) and I am sure there are others!
  • Go light hunting, this is sometimes done more than once, we pick a direction and head off looking for the best light displays in our area, the dogs come too!
  • This year we will be decorating a second tree, which my mum is giving to us
  • Adventure to local shops, garden centres and local markets to get that buzz and find local gifts
  • Hubby has a December birthday, on that day we ignore Christmas and make it about him!
  • Do the gift delivery to family
  • Go to Santa night if not in work!
  • Wear Christmas clothes, this can be just around the house, to work or when we go out!

Please share any ideas that you do, or traditions that you have, I am always looking to expand my horizons!

Glasgow

On Sunday 1st December, we said goodbye to the doggies, leaving them with their lovely sitter and drove 4hours and 15minutes to Glasgow! The drive down was great, very little congestion, hubby did all the driving (I did offer to share) and we stopped for a hot drink, krispy kreme donut and burger king on the way!

We arrived at the hotel- Radisson Red- parked up and were just in time to check in. We unloaded our bags, checked out the very lovely room, with perfect views of the Hydro stadium and the Clyde River. Then off we went, using google maps. We wandered into the heart of the city, along the riverside which was beautiful, it was very, very cold! Our main aim was to get to George Square for the Christmas Markets. We had a really good wander around, looked through the Market and all the other lovely shops before getting a bit lost and confused, then headed back to the hotel. We found the local Hard Rock Cafe- this has become an accidental thing, we have glasses from Vegas, London, Edinburgh, Paris and Orlando, we will collect more in New York! We had tea at the hotel, a cocktail and got a bottle of wine- which I have brought home as we didn’t finish it!haha. Food was ok, quite pricey for what it was. I was worried about noise levels in the hotel, but actually, it was all quiet!

Radisson Red in Glasgow: views from the window and our room! We could see the Hydro!

We got up at 8am the following day, got dressed, wrapped up warm and walked to TriBeCa cafe on Dumbarton Road, took about 33minutes. I chose this place for breakfast after googling for the best pancakes in Glasgow! I am a bit obsessed with american style pancakes, I admit, I have issues! We had a thoroughly enjoyable breakfast there, the pancakes were so yum as was the french toast. Hubby had candied bacon on his, he said it was delishious! Once we were filled, we wandered about 15minutes to the Riverside Museum.

Wow, what a museum! We loved it, its up there for me, with the Mob museum in Vegas! The building itself was fascinating, and the inside was just great, really interesting, well designed and interesting space! We spent a couple of hours wandering around and enjoying it all. I am sure it would be easy to spend more time there if you were so inclined. The museum was free, they survive on donations, we donated a tenner for both of us. We then went to the Tall Ship, which is behind the museum on the river. This was fascinating and interesting too, again free, so a small donation was made. We then got the hop on hop off bus, hubby enjoyed lisitening to the audio, I enjoyed looking out of the window. We got off at George Square then wandered down towards Enoch Shopping Centre. I found Yours, plus size shop and got some great clothes all on offer, yay! We didn’t end up going into the shopping centre, we were all shopped out just from the high street, there are so many shops! We then got back on the hop on hop off bus and got back to the hotel. We booked into the Rotunda Italian restaurant for an early tea, as that night was the main reason we travelled to Glasgow. We had the pre-theatre menu, which was super yummy, it was very busy so the service was a bit hit and miss understandably. Good food, would definately go back!

Mega fit pancakes from TriBeCa, some Glasgow shots and some of the Christmas Market!

The reason we went to Glasgow: The Nightmare Before Christmas, live with an Orchestra, featuring Danny Elfman, Catherine O’Hara and Ken Page!!!!!!!!

OMG, could I be anymore excited?! Probably not, I am a massive NBC fan, watch it every year, got married on Halloween and got the DJ to play some of the songs during the night! We booked the tickets a year ago, when I saw that it was coming over for the 25th anniversary. Hubby decided he would like to see it in Glasgow, as we have been to London a few times and the distance is similar. So, thats how we came to be in Glasgow. He has been to Glasgow before and I hadn’t, and as a massive Scotland fan, I was more than happy to go! We walked the two minutes from the hotel to the Hydro, wasted some time before going to sit to watch the show.

It was incredible, the Orchestra were incredible, Danny Elfman was out of this world, the back up singers were perfection, Catherine O’Hara knocked my socks off and Ken Page was spot on! Best production I have ever been too, I didn’t think I could love NBC anymore than I do, but I do love it even more now! We did queue up and get a program- £15, ouch. But you gotta do it sometimes! After the brilliant show, we went up to the Red Sky Bar at the hotel and had a couple of very expensive cocktails before going to sleep.

The screens at the Hydro, we were on quite an angle, but still a great view! My Sally ears came all the way from Orlando in September, love them! And hubby always looks good!

We then travelled home- the car needs a very expensive part replacing so that made the drive a bit tense, but we got home in one piece!

Costs:

  • Radisson Red- £158 for 2nights
  • Parking at hotel- £10 for 2 nights
  • Tickets for NBC- £124 for 2 tickets including booking fee etc
  • Food, drink, fuel and miscellaneus- £311
  • Hop On Hop Off bus- £32 for 2 of us for one day

What a great short break, Glasgow is a great industrial city, lots of shops etc and plenty to do! If you are thinking of going, stop thinking and go!

December is fast approaching!

I am, and always have been, a Christmas girl! Not in any religious sense, but in a, magical, warm and fuzzy sense. I find all the decorations, lights everywhere, films and songs warm me to my cockles. I love nothing more than snuggling with the doggies on the sofa and finding a Christmas film to watch and give me the feels. It’s a month where the daylight is short, nights are long, the weather is more wet (if that’s possible!) and Jack Frost is often creeping around.

Both Hubby and I like to decorate early, we try to put our decorations up on the 1st December and take them down sometime in January. I love how the Christmas tree and lights make the room glow! We don’t tend to decorate outside the house, mainly because I have always been paranoid about ‘showing’ we are Christmas and making us more at risk of burglaries (paranoid!).

This year we are not going to be here for the first few days of December, so will be starting to decorate this week, will be lovely to come back to a fully decorated and lovely looking house! Last December absolutely flew by, I was working on the agency to taking last minute shifts whenever I could in order to make sure we could pay our bills and this meant the month seemed to disappear. This year I want to re-do our wooden countdown calendar, I write down a list of things to do- buy a festive hot chocolate, put down Christmas film names, go looking for the best festive nights, go to a Christmas Market, Wrap the presents etc. etc.

I work long days and Hubby works away a lot, this means that I will have to consider our availability to make this work! Was easier when I worked 9-5, as only had to work around hubby!haha. I am hoping to be able to wear some festive outfits to work and find some fun earrings (only got my ears pierced this year), as I am working Christmas eve and Boxing day on 12 hour shifts….

I have a lovely day off with the doggies today, trying to recuperate from two long days with lots of energy expended, so I will spend it making notes about what can go in the calendar to help keep the whole month feeling delightful and festive despite super busy and tough jobs for both of us!

Part of this plot, is to make Christmas about doing things together, low to little cost, which helps with the magical aspect!